1st, 2nd or 3rd…


I’m not sure if you’ve noticed (based on my previous blog posts) but I’m pregnant (who knew!?). This has been a vast learning curve for me, as vast as the curve of my ever-expanding tummy. Everybody told me that, roughly, I’d hate the first trimester, love the second trimester and hate the third trimester. That’s not quite how I found it, here are the trimesters as I found them:

The First Trimester

Oh. Dear. God. And I was one of the lucky ones! I wasn’t sick, not once, but I did spend every day dry heaving into a bucket, sink, my handbag, etc. It basically felt like a three-month hangover, a severe three month hangover, the kind of hangover that not even a big breakfast can fix. No breakfast could fix it. Breakfast is no longer okay.

This is a tough one for your other half as well because they’ve lost the partner they knew and loved and she’s been replaced by a sicky, sad, emotional, knackered and anxious version of her former fantastic self. One thing Chris wasn’t prepared for is how much he’s missed his drinking buddy. I’m not going to lie, over the years, alcohol has, at times, caused him to have a complete liability for a wife. I thought he might even enjoy the fact that I haven’t been able to drink for nearly nine months now, but the other day he turned to me and said “I really miss my drinking buddy, I’m really looking forward to being able to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine together again.”

Also, forewarning for any partner: you’ll watch your loved one push food around her plate and probably lose weight and you’ll try to fix it by saying something along the lines of “I’ll cook you whatever you want, your dream dish, what do you want?” and then you’ll spend an entire day sourcing all the ingredients (some at great effort and expense) and then slave over preparing a beautiful repast, to which your pregnant beloved will sit down at the table with great excitement, and you shall place the plate in front of her with a great sense of achievement, and she shall breath in the delicious scents and then either promptly run to the toilet or just be sick on the actual plate in front of her. Don’t take it personally, you’re still an excellent chef and soon a time is coming where your beloved resembles a sort of food-stuff disposal system, otherwise known as…

The Second Trimester

The bump is growing. The boobs are growing. The sickness has mostly been gotten over. A lot of ladies say this is the trimester they felt they got their “mojo back”. I did not. I developed PGP (Pelvic Girdle Pain) which made walking very hard. Every time I took a step it felt like I’d been kicked, very hard, right in the crotch. Any and every movement hurt, and I felt as though I’d been pregnant for a very long time and would be pregnant for a very long time to come. I wanted alcohol and smoked salmon and chicken liver pate and I felt AGES away from being able to have any of this. I waited, not so patiently for my mojo and it alluded me.

On the plus side I did get my appetite back in a big way! Yes you have to look after yourself and eat stuff that’s good for your baby and you and all of that, but also, cake. Eat the healthy stuff AND the cake. It’s the only time you can do it guilt free. Plus this is the trimester when you start to feel your baby moving and thats always really lovely.

The Third Trimester

So I’m at week 34 and have only six weeks left to go (in theory)! I. Am. KNACKERED. But it’s actually fine because I’ve just admitted defeat. I’m completely taking my baby and my body’s lead. When I feel that I need to nap, I nap. When I want to eat, I eat (even if that’s at 4am). I can see the finish line. It’s like when you’ve run a marathon and your entire body is giving up, until you see the finish line and somehow, you manage to find the energy for a sprint finish. My baby is moving around all the time, which feels amazing and I FINALLY feel that I have my mojo back. It’s a different mojo, it’s like a slightly damp mojo, but I feel myself again. I’ve fallen in love with my ever-growing bump and I’m so excited to meet the little invader I’ve been hosting for nearly nine months now! I’m getting the nursery ready and really bonding with my baby.

The downsides are that moving around does get harder and harder. I feel just a little bit colossal, like I should have the beeping and flashing of a manoeuvering van – “warning, pregnant woman reversing.” There are things strewn across the floors of my house because I’ve accidentally dropped them and I can’t get down far enough to pick them up. The other thing is that the baby movements are lovely but sometimes they can be a little uncomfortable! The head-butting of my bladder has caused some emergency incidents and this baby is BUSY, I don’t know what’s going on in there but whatever it is, it must be a pretty full schedule because the little thing just never stops. Again though, I love it.


So if you’re pregnant and everyone keeps telling you you’re about to get your mojo back and you’re waiting and waiting to feel better again, don’t worry, at some point you will. I think you just have to find your trimester. It might be that you really love the third trimester. It could be that you find the first trimester a complete breeze (you won’t, not if you’re human). Hang on in there and try to enjoy the ride, and if you really hate it all – cake. Cake, cake, cake, cake, biscuits, crisps, cake. Do it.


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