How To…

…Mum.

LOLS! As if I could write a blog about how to be a mum! I’ve no idea! I’m completely winging it. I haven’t brushed my hair or my teeth, or changed my hair from the “mum bun” it’s been in all night and it’s 2pm! But my baby is happy and healthy and (mostly) clean so as far as I’m concerned, I’m completely bossing this motherhood lark. High fives, no, BIG TENS to me!

I can write about what motherhood has taught me so far.

  1. I suck at being nice to myself. This is a big one. I’ve known for a while how bad I am at being nice to myself and I wrote about that in my pregnancy blogs but motherhood has magnified this problem. I’ve taken to writing down all the things I’ve achieved in a day just before I go to sleep so that I can go to sleep. So that I don’t lie awake beating myself up for not making the best of the day, or not doing that pile of washing, or not spending enough time outside, or enough time inside, etc, etc, etc… I have to remind myself all the time that if I’ve kept a small human being alive, then it’s been a truly great and successful day. The good news is, I’m getting better and better at this.
  2. Childbirth is extremely hard. But not harder than you can handle. Just going to leave that there.
  3. Mothers being discriminated against in the workplace baffles me. As far as I can tell motherhood teaches you time management skills, conflict management skills, first aid, communication skills, multitasking, being flexible and adaptable, problem solving, prioritising, team work, organisation, initiative, self-discipline, people management, skills, skills, SKILLS. If a woman has taken a couple of years out of conventional work to raise her children, employers should be welcoming them back to the workforce with open arms. And balloons. And champagne. And a big fat sign that says thank you so much for bringing your incredible skills to this company, no job is harder than keeping a child alive and bringing it up to be a good person so you’re very over-qualified for this probably quite bog-standard role.
  4. Your body might never be the same again. And people will try and tell you that you shouldn’t care because one look at your baby makes every stretch mark and stone gained (and stitch) completely worth while. This is and isn’t true. It is worth it but looking at your baby’s smile isn’t going to make you feel instantly better about your completely new figure, so don’t feel bad if you’re looking at your child, then back to the mirror, and not immediately thinking totally worth it. Give it time. Things will get better.
  5. Do one thing a day. Only one. At the start I thought that Douglas (that’s my son, my son Douglas) and I could go to the supermarket and pick up something from the post office depot, and go to mama and baby yoga, all in one day. Nope. Bad idea. Sure fire way of running yourself further into the ground you’re already lying on because of severe sleep deprivation. If you’ve got yoga, do yoga and then come home, put the telly on, cuddle your little one, change their nappy and wonder what time it’s okay to have a glass of sherry. The supermarket can wait until tomorrow. The package will still be at the depot on Friday (unless you’ve left it there for three weeks, don’t leave it there for three weeks).

So that’s me! My first blog since having a baby. Apologies it’s taken so long. I’m also doing a Master’s at the moment so if I’m not breastfeeding or cleaning orange-coloured shit off tiny clothes, I’m doing that. And knitting. Always knitting.

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6 thoughts on “How To…

  1. Hi Millie Brilliant first blog after your very necessary (by the sound of it) break from writing. Particularly loved the advice to employers. It would make a brilliant interview on Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour. Next step in between everything else is get yourself an interview on that. Challenge! Hope you don’t mind but I am forwarding your piece to Louise Haskins, my former business partner, who has herself had two boys and returned to work soon after – admittedly with the help of live in au pairs, two of them young men, so how about that for equality! Keep writing – you are very good but set you sights on then becoming a commentator on topics close to your heart. Hope we get to meet young Douglas sometime soon. Lots of love, cousin Di xx

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    1. Hi Di! What a very lovely comment to receive! Thank you so much and thank you for passing my blog on to Louise Haskins. I would love to become a social commentator but I’ve no idea how, any advice you could offer would be very gratefully received. I’d love you to meet Douglas, perhaps we could organise a meet-up around Dad’s 60th? xx

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