So this week has been a really shit week. It all started with cat piss. Cat piss is the worst kind of piss. Even after you’ve soaked (literally soaked) the whole area in pure bleach you can still smell it for about eight years after you’ve cleaned it all away. My cat, Nunney (I didn’t know that was a euphemism for vagina when I named her that btw) went through a phase of pissing on the kitchen surfaces, right next the cooker – hygienic. This has resulted in the cupboard where I keep MY PLATES smelling like cat piss for months on end. I finally thought we’d solved the problem by various different methods and have gone without pissy plates for about a month. But oh no, I went away for one night, ONE NIGHT on Friday and to punish me Nunney started pissing on the bloody kitchen surfaces again.
At the risk of sounding odd, I find teenagers fascinating and frightening in equal measures. I seem to be always driving somewhere when they’re walking home from school and watching them (from the safety of my locked car) is so interesting. During my mildly stalk-like behaviour I’ve noticed a couple of things about young adults, (mainly how early they seem to finish school these days. I was driving home from the supermarket at 2:15pm today and kids in uniforms were walking home! 2:15!), things that caused me to compile a list of advice for all teenagers.
This is one I’ve been meaning to do for ages because I think it’s my longest standing favourite dress-up, actually may be apart from medieval – they’re pretty close but I think medieval just pips it to the post because of the magical possibilities it provides which dear Ms Austen, alas, cannot. Although she did win out between the two on my wedding dress choice, so it must be pretty neck and neck.
I don’t normally do Facebook quizzes (I’m very much not interested in “Finding out which Disney Princess” I am as I believe it would be of great detriment to my relatively well-working brain) but recently one popped up on my feed called “What is your 1920s German name?”, how could I resist? So after answering a series of very thought provoking questions I was told that my 1920s German name is Lieselotte, which understandably I was over the moon about (no one wants to end up with Helga…or Adolph). This test also gave me the excuse (not that I really needed one) to dress up for the day.
I recently made a 20s style dress out of an old bedsheet (I’ve also made a shirt out of the same material, you may remember from a previous #FashionFridays post).
…The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley
This was another one of the books that I read on my Scottish honeymoon, it was recommended to me at a ‘Book Spa’ experience (if you haven’t been to one – go to one, it’s like therapy but with literature and tea…and cake), basically because I said I was a bit of an Agatha Christie fan and this book is indeed a murder mystery but a murder mystery with a bit of twist.
Well not me, thats for sure. In the lead up to my wedding I was a mess, the three days before – a wreck. I was snotty and ill and crying and dreading the ‘big day’ (it makes it worse when people call it that). However, something amazing happened – when I woke up on ‘the morning of’ I was calm, happy, relaxed, still a bit poorly but nothing a lemsip and glass of fizz couldn’t fix. I loved getting ready and then when the actual event got started I actually had the best day of my entire life. It was the opposite of what I expected, but actually exactly what everyone said it would be. I can’t wait to see the wedding video because at the moment it all feels as though it was a really wonderful dream! Yesterday I received these beautiful pictures and they’re really helping it all seem like reality.
The only problem is that people don’t seem to believe me when I say that so I’m constantly forced to justify my passions.
So from now on when I need to justify my Eurovision amore, I’ll just direct the questioning fiend to this blog post (justification and more followers – win win)!
Pissed commentators. When does that happen anymore? At no point – that’s when. Not even rugby commentators get pissed on the job any more. The only reason why I grew up watching the Eurovision Song Contest is because my parents loved a drunk Terry Wogan and I am SO proud of Graham Norton for taking on that difficult burden and continuing the drunk commentator tradition. Hats off to you sir, you’re doing a top notch, sterling, single malt job!
Now that I’m freelance I find myself spending a lot of time in my little home office, resisting the temptations of YouTube, day-time telly, a spot of cleaning or just going out and about round the local charity shops!
So incase any of you dear readers are suffering from the same cheeky temptations I have put together a list of tips to help keep you on track (I’m hoping this will benefit me in a follow your own advice way).
How To Work From Home:
BAN YOUTUBE (she says, whilst playing a Eurovision Song Contest Concert on said media channel – it’s got all the hits! And Graham Norton!).
Set yourself specific times, I charge an hourly rate anyway so it really helps me to turn every distraction off, put an hour timer on my phone and then when that goes off I can pause and have a little break (a Euro Break).
Get up and at ’em! Even though you don’t have a boss tapping their watch when you walk into the office anymore, you should probably get up at a reasonable time. If you end up waking up at 10am it’ll just make you feel bad and that’s not a good way to start the working day!
Get up and get out! No I’m not talking about your one night stand – I get up when Chris gets up (sometimes before – he’s a last minute man) and walk with him to work. Then I either jog or walk back home, which gives me really good time to think about the day ahead and the exercise puts me in a really good mood. I would thoroughly recommend a walking start to your day!
Get dressed! This might seem like an obvious one but back in January I spent a lot of time working at my desk in my jammies but now I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a bad idea – it never puts me in the right headspace to work. I’m not saying put your suit on or anything, right now I’m not wearing what I would wear to a meeting but I am wearing clothes (and even a bra!) which makes me feel a lot more ready to work than my dressing gown does.
There are my five tips from working home – and I’d have written this blog a lot quicker if I didn’t have a cat on my computer the whole time…
Now obviously your bottom has some important bodily functions that must be taken care of and they can also be nice to touch, and wibble about in front of the mirror but I was getting ready for an evening out when I came across this on Youtube:
I’d gone from being excited for a lovely night out on the taaan to seriously depressed about the state of the world I’m going to have to bring children up in one day. It was a proper bummer (ha).