So I’ve been complaining a little bit about pregnancy recently, which is fair enough, it’s tough, but it’s also very special. So here are the things I like about pregnancy:
- I’m never lonely. My husband works away a lot and it doesn’t get any easier having him so far away, so often. It’s not always easy when you’re pregnant and knackered and there’s no one to help with the dishwasher, or the bins, or the cats who keep needing to be taken to the emergency vets because they’re fighting with other cats! But I’m no longer lonely when he’s away because I’m never alone. I’ve always got this little person with me. Every time the little lonely mind-monster tries to creep into the room, I just put my hands on my growing bump and chat away to my little one. It wiggles and moves around in there and I know I’m not alone, not even nearly.
- Things piss me off a lot less. If I’m having a terrible day at work or someone has been horrible to me, of course it’s still upsetting, just for a much shorter period of time. Sometimes I need to have a jolly good cry about these things (everyone does) but then, quite quickly, I start to feel completely okay again. Because of this little bump, things that used to be the big things have become the small things. I’ve stopped sweating the small stuff. I have bigger fish to fry. Pregnancy is a fantastic way of gaining perspective.
- I can eat whatever I want! Of course I make sure I get the appropriate amount of nutrients for me and my baby and eat very healthily for the both of us but once those bits are covered, the fun really starts! I used to hate supermarket shopping, too much choice and temptation, but now if I feel like having it, I just go right ahead and put it in the trolley. Large packet of special Christmas biscuits? Sure. Terry’s Chocolate Orange? Absolutely. Frozen mozzarella sticks? You betcha. Ball of sparkly wool from the random middle isle of Lidl? YES. (I know that’s nothing to do with eating but I class wool as food for my soul.)
- It fascinates people. I sometimes catch people staring at my bump and if I know them well enough I’ll say “do you want to touch it?” and their faces always light up as they tenderly place their hands my tummy and I can see the wonder in their eyes as they touch a brand new life growing. My husband can’t seem to get over how spectacular it is either! He marvels at my growing figure and chats away to the bump and just can’t get over the fact that I’m actually growing a person. It always reminds me how lucky I am and what a privilege this really is.
- I’m much better at being nicer to myself. I’ve been notoriously horrible to myself my entire life. No one can possibly be as mean to me as I have been to myself. It baffles the people around me sometimes and I have to say it doesn’t make too much sense to me either. I’m hard on myself and I hold myself to impossibly high standards that no one could ever attain and then I punish myself when I don’t reach them. But not anymore. I have to be nice to me because I have to be nice to the little person inside of me. I want to be nice to me because I want to be nice to the little person inside of me. And I now love me because I love the little person inside of me. Can’t tell you what a relief it is to finally feel this way.
I think a lot of women with a history of mental illness worry about getting pregnant and what this might do to their stability, I think I’ll do a more specific blog on this soon, but I have to say, on the whole I actually think pregnancy has mellowed me. This whole pregnancy thing is quite the journey! And I’ve just got to keep enjoying the ride!